I was recently talking to a manager who was complaining that some of her staff had a tendency to accept work from her which, it later transpired, they did not have the time to do (or at least to the deadline she had set). She just couldn’t understand why her staff didn’t seem to have the ability to say to her ‘no’ or ‘not now’, and she was frustrated by the problems this was causing.

This conversation reminded me of a piece of work a client asked me to undertake, for many of the same reasons as our unhappy manager, which was to train his staff in how to assertively deal with requests.

The following is a summary of the step process I taught his staff and their managers, which they then took on as ‘the way we say no around here’.

Step 1: Ensure you fully understand the request

Ask questions, listen, ask more questions until you are crystal clear on:

• The size and complexity of the task i.e. the level of detail or accuracy needed, how much research needs undertaking, what the ‘end product’ should look like e.g. a two page summary or a full report?
• The deadline – when, specifically, the task needs to be completed (and challenging any ‘asap’ type responses)
• The  importance of the task and deadline

Step 2: Use relevant facts in order to make a decision on whether to accept or decline the request

Such as:

• The time needed to complete the work vs. the time available to meet the deadline
• The time needed to complete work on hand of equal importance
• The relative urgency or importance of other work on hand

Step 3: Assesses the consequence, or cost, of accepting the request as a way of deciding whether to accept or decline

Example:

• The new task would take 2 hours (fact)
• The task I am currently working on will take 4 hours and must be completed by 5pm (fact)
• The task I am currently working on has the highest priority (fact)
• To take on the new task now would mean I would miss the 5pm deadline on the current task (consequence)

Step 4: If you decide to refuse the request, explain that decision to the other party

• Explain that you have a difficulty in meeting the request and why – using the fact
• Explain what the (negative) consequences would be of you accepting the request
• Explain that, therefore, you are unable to accept the request

Step 5: If appropriate, look for some compromise solution

Such as:

• Offering to accept the work – but with a longer deadline
• Offering to accept part of the work
• Offering ideas on how the work could be completed by someone else

Benefits of using the 5 step process

1. With the staff who find it difficult to say ‘no’ or ‘not now’

Sharing this process with your staff gives those who need it both the tools and the permission to say ‘no’ or ‘not now’.

2. With the staff who don’t find it difficult

Of course some staff members have no issue at all with saying ‘no’, and sometimes quite the opposite. The usefulness of sharing the process with these people is that it clearly describes your expectations around how they make the decision to accept or refuse work – based on fact and consequence rather than, say, inflexibility or just not liking the look of the task.

3. When you need the answer to be ‘yes’

Of course it’s all about the dialogue. You, as the manager, may have knowledge of facts and consequences that your staff are unaware of. It could be that their ‘no’ really does need to be a ‘yes’.

The usefulness of the 5 steps, and the dialogue they generate, is the clarity achieved.

The staff member is much less likely to feel ‘dumped on’ or coerced into accepting a task if they have had the opportunity to explain their facts and consequences and if they have had explained to them, in detail, why the new task is a higher priority – based on facts.