‘ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR’

1. Demonstrates the ability to clearly explain their thoughts and opinions

2. Expresses thoughts and opinions using ‘first person’ language

3. Verbally distinguishes between fact and opinion

4. Articulates the reasoning behind their thoughts and opinions

5. Seeks to understand the thoughts and opinions of others by asking open questions, using

probing questions to achieve clarity

6. Demonstrates understanding of the other persons thoughts and opinions by reflecting

back their understanding and summarising

7. Identifies and expresses what they see as differences of opinion and checks that others

agree

8. Seeks ideas for solutions from others

9. Offers solutions

Would you like to see more descriptions of behavioural performance objectives? Then take a look at ‘The Managers Toolkit – 176 Behavioural Performance Objectives’ http://www.10mmt.com/e-books/ A gold mine of information and a quick and easy way to describe what you want from your staff so that you can get what you need from your staff

Joan Henshaw is the author and presenter of the video management training series ‘The 10 Minute Management Toolkit’ – the flexible, cost effective and time effective way to help managers learn how to motivate their staff to high performance. Want to learn more about how to motivate staff to high performance? Watch videos and claim your free e-book at http://www.10mmt.com

 ‘ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR’

 1. Demonstrates the ability to clearly explain their thoughts and opinions

2. Expresses thoughts and opinions using ‘first person’ language

3. Verbally distinguishes between fact and opinion

4. Articulates the reasoning behind their thoughts and opinions

5. Seeks to understand the thoughts and opinions of others by asking open questions, using probing questions to achieve clarity

6. Demonstrates understanding of the other persons thoughts and opinions by reflecting back their understanding and summarising

7. Identifies and expresses what they see as differences of opinion and checks that others agree

8. Seeks ideas for solutions from others

9. Offers solutions

Would you like to see more descriptions of behavioural performance objectives? Then take a look at ‘The Managers Toolkit – 176 Behavioural Performance Objectives’ http://www.10mmt.com/e-books/ A gold mine of information and a quick and easy way to describe what you want from your staff so that you can get what you need from your staff

Joan Henshaw is the author and presenter of the video management training series ‘The 10 Minute Management Toolkit’ – the flexible, cost effective and time effective way to help managers learn how to motivate their staff to high performance. Want to learn more about how to motivate staff to high performance? Watch videos and claim your free e-book at http://www.10mmt.com

I was recently talking to a manager who was complaining that some of her staff had a tendency to accept work from her which, it later transpired, they did not have the time to do (or at least to the deadline she had set). She just couldn’t understand why her staff didn’t seem to have the ability to say to her ‘no’ or ‘not now’, and she was frustrated by the problems this was causing.

This conversation reminded me of a piece of work a client asked me to undertake, for many of the same reasons as our unhappy manager, which was to train his staff in how to assertively deal with requests.

The following is a summary of the step process I taught his staff and their managers, which they then took on as ‘the way we say no around here’.

Step 1: Ensure you fully understand the request

Ask questions, listen, ask more questions until you are crystal clear on:

• The size and complexity of the task i.e. the level of detail or accuracy needed, how much research needs undertaking, what the ‘end product’ should look like e.g. a two page summary or a full report?
• The deadline – when, specifically, the task needs to be completed (and challenging any ‘asap’ type responses)
• The  importance of the task and deadline

Step 2: Use relevant facts in order to make a decision on whether to accept or decline the request

Such as:

• The time needed to complete the work vs. the time available to meet the deadline
• The time needed to complete work on hand of equal importance
• The relative urgency or importance of other work on hand

Step 3: Assesses the consequence, or cost, of accepting the request as a way of deciding whether to accept or decline

Example:

• The new task would take 2 hours (fact)
• The task I am currently working on will take 4 hours and must be completed by 5pm (fact)
• The task I am currently working on has the highest priority (fact)
• To take on the new task now would mean I would miss the 5pm deadline on the current task (consequence)

Step 4: If you decide to refuse the request, explain that decision to the other party

• Explain that you have a difficulty in meeting the request and why – using the fact
• Explain what the (negative) consequences would be of you accepting the request
• Explain that, therefore, you are unable to accept the request

Step 5: If appropriate, look for some compromise solution

Such as:

• Offering to accept the work – but with a longer deadline
• Offering to accept part of the work
• Offering ideas on how the work could be completed by someone else

Benefits of using the 5 step process

1. With the staff who find it difficult to say ‘no’ or ‘not now’

Sharing this process with your staff gives those who need it both the tools and the permission to say ‘no’ or ‘not now’.

2. With the staff who don’t find it difficult

Of course some staff members have no issue at all with saying ‘no’, and sometimes quite the opposite. The usefulness of sharing the process with these people is that it clearly describes your expectations around how they make the decision to accept or refuse work – based on fact and consequence rather than, say, inflexibility or just not liking the look of the task.

3. When you need the answer to be ‘yes’

Of course it’s all about the dialogue. You, as the manager, may have knowledge of facts and consequences that your staff are unaware of. It could be that their ‘no’ really does need to be a ‘yes’.

The usefulness of the 5 steps, and the dialogue they generate, is the clarity achieved.

The staff member is much less likely to feel ‘dumped on’ or coerced into accepting a task if they have had the opportunity to explain their facts and consequences and if they have had explained to them, in detail, why the new task is a higher priority – based on facts.

Here she talks about her experience of working with me, the impact it has had on her staff’s performance and, importantly, the impact it has had on her confidence and wellbeing.

Over to Sara….

Taking the right steps with Ladder Consulting

I am the kind of person that finds it easier just to do it myself instead of relying on my staff to do the work. What that means for me is that I am always overworked and tired. What it means for my staff is that they are not challenged and I tend to go through staff without really knowing why.

I met Joan through my business (she’s a member of the gym I own) and one day I happened to mention that I was having staffing issues and she asked me how I managed my staff. I said ‘what do you mean manage my staff? At this point I am just happy that they show up for work.’ And to be honest they are very reliable in that aspect of working for me!

Joan suggested that we meet outside of my place of business and discuss some steps I could take to improve my situation.

I have had different kinds of managers throughout my varied career; micro managers that watch every thing I do; selfish managers that never seem to be there for the staff.

I wanted to be the kind of boss that staff respected and wanted to be a part of my team. So therefore I set out to befriend my staff and let them pretty much do their own thing as long as the job was getting done. But as I said earlier, that meant that I was left to do most of the work.

After my first meeting with Joan I asked her to work with me to help improve the situation. Through the consulting sessions with her I learned that although I was friends with my staff, I did not expect anything from them. I had no set performance standards for my staff so they really did not know what was expected from them. I had staff that gave me exactly what I asked for — nothing!

So with Joan’s help, we designed performance standards that were clear and quantifiable. I started by listing all the duties that I wanted my staff to perform. Joan helped me to categorise and word them in a way that enabled me to communicate to my staff exactly what is expected of them. The performance standards also allow me to evaluate my staff in a professional manner.

Joan coached me through the first meeting where I presented these performance standards to my staff and truly helped me to clearly communicate and engage with them. I had immediate positive feedback from my staff and even enthusiasm for the job they needed to do.

Our workplace is a more positive and fun place to work. Everyone is clear on what is expected of them and the work is now getting done by the people who should be doing the work — my staff.

I am less tired and stressed and I finally feel I am building confidence in myself as a manager.

Would you like to achieve some of the results Sara has achieved? You can trial, for free, a tele-consulting session with Joan.

Contact me and I will send you details of how the sessions work, what you can expect to achieve and how to book a session.

Related posts

• Are you clear on what you want from the people you manage? Are they?
• Managing by numbers is easy — but how do I manage behaviours?